I went to Beeches Nursery today, just outside Saffron Walden in the village of Ashdon. I got lost on the way there, but that was nothing new. I have never yet managed to find my way to Beeches without getting lost. The Systems Administrator and I have even driven up and down the main drag at Ashdon, knowing that the nursery was there but unable to spot it. The cause of my downfall this time was Finchingfield, which is very stingy with road signs next to its quaint village pond. You navigate your way over the narrow bridge, peering over the hump for oncoming traffic and reassured by the last sign which pointed your way across the bridge, and then nothing. Apart from a sign warning you to beware of ducks in the road.
I kept left, and fairly soon found myself in Great Bardfield, which meant that I should have kept right. At that stage I wasn't lost as such, merely in the wrong place, but then I tried to cut across country instead of retracing my steps to Finchingfield and really did get lost. I should have known better. The last time I actually wanted to go to Great Bardfield I couldn't see which road to take out of Finchingfield, while Bardfield itself is a confusing village.
Part of my journey lay along Monday's Tour de Essex route, and so I did check on the Essex County Council website before setting out that there weren't due to be any road closures as early as today. I spotted a reasonable attempt at bunting in a couple of the villages, and two yellow painted bicycles tied to a fence, but the only sheep I passed (Essex is not great sheep country) were just plain vanilla sheep coloured. There was one optimistic sign for a Tour de France campsite, but in general I didn't get the impression that north west Essex was fizzing with anticipation.
The precise location of Beeches is as unclear as ever when approaching travelling towards Saffron Walden, because their sign is obscured by a telegraph pole and a truly enormous Scots thistle, but this time round a sixth sense told me that I had more or less arrived, and that I should park on the verge and continue the search on foot. I found them almost opposite. They have no customer car parking as such, and visitors have to shuffle on to the verge, or leave their cars by the kerb on the main road. It's not ideal.
The plants, however, are sublime, and I amassed a couple of Watsonia, one pink and one brick red, a tiny whipcord Ozothamnus of a type I never saw before, a climbing Aconitum, a Sanguisorba with particularly striking leaves and an upright habit, an allegedly hardy silver leaved begonia with coral flowers though this one is going in the conservatory, and a Macleaya. The Macleaya was the least rare thing on the list and not particularly worth driving to Saffron Walden for, but I wanted one. I used to grow it, and it gradually died out, which may be a lesson to me that it will not do, but I have improved the soil in the bed where I intend to put it, and other things seem happy there. I was so pleased with this haul that as I was about to pay I asked whether they had any willow leaved gentians about, or ever did them, since I hadn't seen any in the shade tunnels. It turned out that they had, so I bought one of those, though the assistant warned me that I'd need to find it deep soil that was reliably damp. He also told me that the secret with Watsonia was to water them generously in February and March, before the flowering season. That would explain why my potted ones in the greenhouse were so sad and non-flowering, as I am very nervous about over watering things in pots in February.
From Ashdon to Saffron Walden, to visit the Fry Art Gallery. I hadn't been for two or three years, and wanted to catch their temporary exhibition of the splendidly named Bernard Cheese before it closes next weekend. Having seen it, I have to regretfully conclude that the gallery did hit on the most appealing picture by a wide margin for their promotional material. It was quite a nice exhibition, and it's always good to see this year's offering from the Fry's permanent collection (they don't have room to hang it all at once), but if I'd driven that far and not wanted to go to Beeches, I'd scarcely have felt it was worth the effort.
It was an odd order of events, to go the plant nursery before the gallery, but I took the view that it wasn't going to be too hot, so I'd be able to leave the plants in the car for an hour or two, and that it would be easier finding Saffron Walden from Ashdon than vice versa. Saffron Walden's one way system and signposts leave something to be desired. Including the tourist ones, since the Fry Gallery does not feature on the map in the long stay car park or on the signposts when you follow the path from the car park to the town centre. Getting to the long stay was something of a performance, since the road alongside the common was suddenly closed to traffic ahead of me, and a convoy of traffic including a bus was sent on a winding journey through the neighbouring residential streets. They appeared to be setting up some sort of fair on the common, which I assumed was something to do with the Tour de Essex.
The real fun and games started on leaving the car park to go home. There were no notices in the car park, or the town, warning of traffic delays this Saturday. None. Following the signs for Thaxted I began to wonder why the streets were lined with so many people, some clutching balloons. Was it a preliminary Tour warm-up event that the council hadn't put on their website? Caught in a stationary queue of vehicles all trying to head for Thaxted, I wound down the window to a man in a Rotary Club t-shirt and a luminous vest who explained that I might be stuck there for a while as the roads were being closed for the Carnival. Carnival? What sodding carnival? The approaches to Saffron Walden were lined with various banners welcoming the Tour on Monday 7th July, but nowhere was a Carnival on the afternoon of Saturday 5th mentioned. I had seen some as-yet undeployed Road Closed signs earlier, but had assumed that they related to Monday.
The man in the vest suggested I go a different way, but that failed, as the road ahead was also closed, followed by the road behind. The residential side streets of Saffron Walden began to fill up with traffic trying to dodge the carnival and escape. Looking at the number of three point turns being executed by increasingly stressed drivers in narrow streets lined with the residents' cars, it was only a matter of time before somebody drove into someone. Finally, the parade passed, we were allowed out of our side street, and followed the procession at a snail's pace towards Thaxted, until our ways diverged.
As tourist days out go, I'd say that Beeches fully lived up to expectations. Interesting plants, helpful and knowledgeable staff, worth anybody's time visiting who is really interested in plants. But for sheer unhelpfulness to non-locals, and lack of signs and information, Saffron Walden gets the wooden spoon, and my award for most rubbish tourist town of 2014. If I go anywhere more annoying in the rest of this year, I'll let you know.
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