The Systems Administrator, safely home from a second trip to the races (Wincanton, the going officially good but slippery on top, not especially classy horses), resumed battle with the fat ball blocking the kitchen sink outlet. The great plumbing project was put on hold before Cheltenham, in case the SA hit problems and didn't have time to fix them before the race meeting. As bad ideas go, departing for a few days holiday with your friends while leaving your partner behind without working plumbing in the kitchen would be right up there at the calamitous end of the scale. Not as heinous as a man we knew who ran over the cat, but certainly on a par with forgetting birthdays or refusing to accompany partner to parties they judge it necessary to attend, and way above failure to appreciate new haircut, glasses, overcoat or other items of vanity and personal adornment.
The Japanese quince outside the kitchen window having been massacred (I'm hopeful it will regenerate from the root), the SA was able to investigate the point at which the outlet from the kitchen sinks entered a sump. The top had been concreted over, for no very good reason that I can think of, so that had to be broken. The sump was full of muck. Silt, fat, smelly stuff. I wish to put it on record that I am grateful to the SA for cleaning the rubbish out of the sump. It sounds revolting.
The blockage was so complete that nothing was draining from the kitchen sink to the septic tank at all. When we waited for the sinks to slowly drain, the water was spilling over the top of the sump and soaking into the surrounding soil. That doesn't sound like a good idea, and in theory might have made the nearby wall or floor damp, except that since the ground at the front of the house is more or less pure sand going down yards, the whole front garden is like a gigantic soakaway anyway.
Once the sump was cleared, a hose running at full volume would drain down the pipe from the sump without backing up. That sounds to me as though the SA has found the blockage, but to be on the safe side the SA plans to buy some extra-strength drain cleaner, the sort you can't put down interior pipework, and pour that down. It seems like a long time since we were worried about preserving the ecology of the septic tank: by now we're on to a scorched earth policy. Then the SA has to fashion a new cover for the sump, presumably being very careful not to breathe the fumes.
It was Dorothy Sayers who observed that there is no collection of people who cannot make animated conversation about drains.
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